


Family

by brightclam



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 11:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightclam/pseuds/brightclam
Summary: Of all the places Sisko expected the Prophets to send him, Voyager had never even occurred him. He hadn't even known Voyager's situation until he materializes on their bridge. But he's suddenly joined them on their 40 year journey and he's here to stay, so he'll have to adjust to life in the Delta quadrant.{set early in voyager and after ds9 ends, where sisko is taken by the prophets. focused on chakotay/sisko}





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post on tumblr about how wonderful chakotay/sisko would be and I've been sitting on this story since then. I hope someone else likes this rare pair as much as I do!
> 
> tw: canon typical violence
> 
> btw I can't remember all of the ds9 finale and what happened to everyone so they're all living happily, including ziyal because fuck that especially

\--------

Sisko has only been with the prophets for what feels like a minute when he feels the white light receding and his body, full of aches and pains but wonderfully human, reforming. He stumbles, his legs too weak to support him, but catches himself on a railing. He looks up and around, seeing starfleet uniforms---thank the prophets---and the flashing lights of a starship bridge. Before he can try to speak, he feels his extremities tingle and his vision begin to darken. 

 

For a moment he’s worried that he’s fading back into the other-space of the prophets, but fortunately this is just the good old feeling of passing out. He’s actually quite satisfied to be able to do something as normal and human as pass out, so he doesn’t fight the darkness as it drags him down. He can just barely feel his back hit the ground as he collapses to the ground and hear someone shout for an emergency medical transport.

 

Then he feels nothing.

 

\---------

 

He wakes to the bright lights of a sickbay and a doctor leaning over him. Actually, it’s not a doctor; he recognizes the face of an emergency medical hologram. He’s glad they never actually implemented the holograms of Julian. 

 

But why is it a hologram? Had he reformed on a ship in a middle of a battle whose doctor was dead? If that was it, why wasn’t the ship rocking with enemy fire?

 

His racing thoughts are cut off when someone else leans over the bed. She’s wearing the red of command and her pips denote her as the captain. He’s glad to see someone who can tell him what’s going on, but he frowns at the uniform. It’s outdated; they’d changed to the gray outside jumpsuit and colored shirt, instead of having the color on the outside.

 

All he can think is please don’t be time travel. 

 

The captain smiles down at him and pats him on the shoulder. He’s surprised at her friendliness, but not irritated by it.

 

“Hello, Captain Sisko. I must say it’s an honor to have you aboard.”

 

Ben frowns deeper as he looks at her, his mind clearing and recognizing her.

 

“Captain Janeway? I thought you’d gone missing, it’s been years! Where are we?”

 

“I’m glad you remember me, Captain.  It’s kind of a long story. ”

 

He sits up, looking around the small sick bay and staring at the hologram that’s smiling pleasantly at him. 

 

“Tell me everything.”

 

\--------

 

A few hours and a shortened version of their adventure later, he’s almost wishing it had just been time travel. Instead he’s somehow joined them on Voyager, stranded in the delta quadrant. Seeing the people he had left behind on ds9 in twenty years rather than never may be an improvement, but it doesn’t feel like one. Jake, Cassidy, his crew…

 

Janeway has returned to her bridge, leaving him to process. Whenever he’s ready she’s asked him to join her. He doesn’t feel ready, but sitting in the unfamiliar sickbay with a hologram that’s strangly sentient isn’t making him feel any better. He’d rather go to the bridge, where at least he’ll be surrounded by the familiar bustle of starfleet officers.

 

“Doctor, am I free to go?”

 

“Yes, Captain. Are you able to find the bridge on your own?”

 

“I think I can manage, thank you.”

 

He pushes aside the wrongness of talking to the EMH that is no longer an EMH and heads out into the bustling corridors. The crew stares at him, but they’re more subtle about it than he expected. His dazed state must be noticeable enough that he makes it to the turbolift without being hassled. He’s thankful; in the tiny room of the turbolift and can hear his own ragged breathing and knows he’s close to panic.

 

He closes his eyes and calms himself, thinking. There’s peace both in knowing that the prophets sent him here and in knowing that there’s nothing he can do to change it. They must have a reason for sending him here, something that will make it worth it. He will ache endlessly, being away from his family, but he will survive and accomplish what they ask of him.

He straightens up and orders the turbolift to take him to the bridge. It complies eagerly, whisking him away. He squares his shoulders, ready to see the heart of the ship he’ll be spending his foreseeable future on.

 

\-------- 

 

Sisko steps onto Voyager’s bridge, taking in Janeway’s bridge crew. He tries not to think about his own trusted crew, tries to push down the ache of missing them. But it’s hard when the communications officer across the bridge exudes the same youthful cheer that Julian had, when the helmsman smiles in a cocky way that almost looks like Jadzia. He wishes he could have Kira’s capable recklessness or O’Brian’s sturdy calm at his side right now, or even just the familiar fear of seeing Jem’hadar ships on the viewscreen. Instead there are only unrecognizable, unfamiliar stars racing by.

 

He distracts himself by taking in Janeway. He’d heard tell of her fierce, unforgiving captaining, but had never expected to see it in action. She’s even more daunting than the stories said, lounging in her captain’s chair with her lips curled up in a sly smile and her cold eyes darting over the veiwscreen. It’s a strange contrast with how she had appeared to him in sickbay, a motherly smile on her face and a comforting hand on his shoulder. He respects a captain who can be fearsome and compassionate in equal measures.

 

There is one oddity on Voyager’s bridge, and that’s the chair next to the captain’s. He’d heard that newer ships were placing the captain and the first officer next to each other, but it still feels off to him. Especially when he looks closer at the person in the chair.

 

When Janeway had stopped by Ds9 before leaving on her mission, he has been told her first officer was Lt. commander Cavit, but he’s nowhere to be seen. It’s possible he’s off the bridge at them moment, but Ben had met all the bridge crew and doesn’t recall the man currently sitting next to Janeway.

 

Ben thinks he would have remembered the tattoo curling around his eye, not to mention his handsome face.

 

He won’t have to wonder for long; Janeway has noticed his presence and risen to meet him. She joins him next to the turbolift, her intensity breaking and the smile once again shining through. She gives him a respectful nod before leaning casually against the wall.

 

“It’s good to see you up and about, Captain.”

 

Ben smiles.

 

“Thank you, Captain. But please, call me Benjamin, or I think we’ll get confused pretty quickly.”

 

She laughs, head falling back with the movement and ruffling her short hair. It was long the last time he saw her.

 

“Alright, Benjamin it is then. I see you found your way to the bridge well enough, but I figured you might want a tour. I’ve assigned my first officer Chakotay to guide you.”

 

She gestures to the stranger in the first officer’s chair. Asking who exactly Chakotay is may be rude, but he’d rather be impolite and informed than be polite and clueless.

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, I thought Cavit was your first officer? And I don’t recognize Chakotay at all.”

 

“Ah, I forgot I hadn’t filled you in completely in sickbay. Well, The Maquis ship we were chasing was brought to the delta quadrant as well.  We ended up integrating them into our crew. It was difficult at first, but they have become loyal members of the crew. In order to show that I was being as fair as I said I would be, I made the Maquis leader, Chakotay, my first officer.”

 

Ben’s first thought is that he’s not especially happy about her first officer being Maquis ethier. Ben has never liked the Maquis. They were the ones picking at the foundations of the federation, and it had been his job to try and fix the damage they’d done. 

 

But the war with the maquis had already been won, and it’s a war that practically meaningless now that it’s so distant. There’s much more to a man than his past, so Ben will try not to hold it against Chakotay. Especially since they’re going to be spending a lot of time together;  now that Janeway had assigned Chakotay to show him around in her stead. She calls him her most trusted subordinate.

 

Ben watches the man rise from the first officer’s chair and head towards them. He’s perfectly relaxed, shoulders loose and stride slow, and he throws a smile at the helmsman as he passes them by. Ben has never seen a Maquis so at home on a starfleet ship. He’s used to seeing them in the angry desperation of battle, or lying dead. Even Edington had an edge to him, despite managing to stay undercover for so long.

 

It’ll take some adjusting to, but Chakotay is perfectly polite, even shaking his hand when introduced. Sisko makes the effort to smile at him and follows him into the grey corridors of voyager.

 

\------

 

Sisko has been on Voyager for about a week, and he’s bored.

 

Janeway had promised to find him a job, but she’s struggling to figure out how to incorporate him into the command structure. He understands; demoting him and having her crew order around a Captain, especially someone as famous as him, isn’t going to fly. Especially with the Bajorans on board, who still view him as their emissary, sent from the alpha quadrant to guide them home safely. But she can’t exactly make him a senior officer; he has no experience in this quadrant or with this crew. He might make a fatal mistake simply because of his ignorance.

 

He understands completely why she’s stuck, but he wishes she could just figure something out. He’s been helping Neelix in the kitchen, but as much as he loves cooking, he still doesn’t feel useful. Being on a starship, being able to feel the humming of her engines, but not actually working with any of her systems grates on him.

 

He’s taken to wandering the halls, careful not to disturb the crew who are on duty. Occasionally he has a short conversation with someone, but he hasn’t really had time to form any friendships yet.

 

He’s just wandering when a large group of people leave a room ahead of him. All of them carry datapadds, and at the back of the group is Chakotay, holding a real book. It’s intriguing enough that Sisko stops at Chakotay’s side, watching the group disperse. Once the hallway is empty, Ben asks:

“What was that all about?”

 

Chakotay smiles fondly down at the book in his hands, which is emblazoned as Hamlet.

 

“That’s our book club. I started it a few months ago, it’s a nice way to be social, and I already love reading.”

 

Ben loves literature, and Shakespeare especially. He’s been spending a lot of his time here reading, and a book club would be a welcome distraction. Chakotay begins walking down the hallway and Ben joins him.

 

“Is anyone allowed to join?”

 

Chakotay smiles wider, dark eyes sparkling in the glare of the ship’s lights.

 

“Of course. We’d be happy to have you, Captain.”

 

“Call me Benjamin, please.”

 

It seems strange to share his first name with the former Maquis, but Ben likes Chakotay. He’s calm and kind, and exudes a calming sense of peace. They’ve stopped in front of what must be Chakotay’s quarters, and he waves open the door.

 

“Would you like to come in, Benjamin?”

 

Ben steps inside and takes in the warmly furnished room. There’s a shelf of books on one side of the room and Chakotay presses the copy of Hamlet back onto it before heading over to the replicator. Benjamin takes a step closer to look at his collection. It’s an impressive array of printed books, both paperback and hardback. Printed books have been out of favor for many years, but Sisko enjoys them despite their rarity.

 

“Quite an impressive collection, Chakotay.”

 

“It’s taken a while to amass. Most of them were gifts from Janeway; she knows me so well. Would you like a cup of tea?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

While Chakotay inputs the order into the replicator, Sisko pulls a well used book from the shelf. It’s a copy of Shakespeare's Richard the second. Chakotay comes up behind him, setting the cups of tea down on the table.

 

“My favorite, of his works.”

 

Sisko smiles, delighted by meeting someone else who shares his tastes in Shakespeare.

 

“The histories. Not the most popular choice.”

 

Soon enough they’ve settled down on the couch, drinking their tea and debating the use of iambic pentameter. Sisko hasn’t felt this happy since he got here, and he can’t wait for the next book club meeting.

 

\------

 

Sisko dreams.

 

He dreams of coming home. He dreams of Ds9, as dirty and complicated as ever, but still his station. He dreams walking through her familiar halls, dimly lit with old cardassian lighting, so different from Voyager’s bright and gleaming corridors.

 

He dreams of opening the creaking door to his quarters. He dreams of the faint smell of his spice cabinet and Cassidy’s scented candles. He dreams of Jake, older now and a famous journalist.

 

He dreams of Cassidy, her age only increasing her beauty. He dreams of the deep wrinkles around her mouth from smiling so often. He dreams of the laugh lines around her eyes. He dreams of the grey in her hair. He dreams of kissing her still soft lips.

 

He dreams of introducing Chakotay to her. He dreams of them smiling at each other as they shake hands. He dreams of Jake beaming at him, curiosity written across his face.

 

He dreams of Jake helping Cassidy set the table. He dreams of their fingers dancing across the painted ceramic. He dreams of the old tablecloth spread across the metal table. He dreams of Cassidy lighting candles, something sweet---vanilla maybe---and the firelight dancing across the bulkheads.

 

He dreams of Chakotay helping him make dinner. He dreams of the kitchen almost being too small for both of their large frames. He dreams of the oil sizzling in the pan. He dreams of the handles of his well used knife set in his hand. He dreams of kissing Chakotay as they clean vegetables together.

 

He wakes abruptly, the shrieking of a red alert tearing him from the dream. He runs to the bridge still filled with an aching loss that only gets worse when he sees Chakotay. The alien species attacking them helps distract him, but the aching doesn’t go away.

 

\-------

 

It’s only Sisko’s third away mission with the voyager crew. Janeway had finally decided his place in the command structure; he is higher ranking than everyone but the bridge crew. He’s still not comfortable with ordering the crew, so he mostly stays quiet about his ability to give commands.

 

They’ve landed on a class M planet to collect a mineral necessary to the shield generators. Sisko finds it interesting how Voyager has merged its original mission of exploration with its current mission of survival. As the away party scavenges for the mineral, they’re also scanning the flora and fauna. A exobiologist excited blathers to Chakotay how she thinks the salamanders that live in the brush must have evolved.

 

Chakotay nods along, watching her intently, but obviously only understanding half of what she’s saying. But his understanding isn’t what matters; the young ensign just needs someone to listen to her. Sisko can’t help but smile at him, and Chakotay looks over, smiling affectionately back. Sisko notices that when Chakotay looks at him that way, the planet’s purple sky brightens and the field of flowers they’re walking through becomes more beautiful than it was a second ago.

 

Sisko is lovestruck, there’s no denying it.

 

Looking up from the overeager ensign, Chakotay meet’s Sisko’s eyes and gives him a small, private smile. He’s one of the kindest men on Voyager, but he rarely expresses it. It’s the smile reserved for when Janeway hands him a cup of coffee or when Harry does something particularly inspired. Or when they’re sitting in the dim lighting of Sisko’s quarters, a book on their laps, knees barely touching. Sisko half smiles back, but restrained it before it can grow to a real grin. He has to push down the swell of affection that the first officer brings out in him and reorient his attention to the path in front of them. They are on a mission after all, and every new planet brings with it a potential for new dangers.

 

The security officer in front of them waves a stop, and the group halts. A cave yawns in front of them, dark but not damp; the desert planet has sucked all the water out of even the underground air. The ensign stops talking about salamanders long enough to inform Chakotay that the cave has the highest concentration of the necessary mineral for miles around. Chakotay’s eyes flicker over the cave entrance arching over their heads with his characteristic cautious curiosity. Sisko had not been surprised to find out he had been a scientific officer before defecting to the Maquis.

 

“Alright team. Let’s head inside, but stay alert.”

 

That sobers the ensign and she follows after the security officer in front of her, scanning the cave walls with her tricorder. Chakotay leaves her side, falling back to walk in step with Sisko.

 

“Ben. I’m going to head up front; take the back and keep an eye out. I don’t want anything getting the drop on us.”

 

Sisko is called many things on Voyager, from Captain to Benjamin to Emissary. But nothing makes warmth curl in his chest like hearing his name from Chakotay. They’d dispensed with title early in their friendship, and feel no need to change that even while around others. The immense danger Voyager is in both strengthens and relaxes protocol in many ways.

 

Sisko grips his phaser rifle harder and nods, slowing his pace to allow the two other security officers to pass him. Chakotay pushes to the front of the group, just in time to face the newest obstacle in their path. The reasonably flat tunnel they’ve been following suddenly drops into a deep pool. A thin lake covers the bottom, and there’s only a thin ridge around the edges for them to walk on. They’ll have to go single file, clinging to the rock walls for purchase.

 

Chakotay looks obviously uncomfortable with the situation, old instincts screaming how well suited the area is to a trap. But they need to complete the mission as quickly as possible, and their tricorders can sense no danger. So he hooks his phaser rifle over his shoulder and starts to make his way across, gesturing for them to follow. He’s keeping his body pressed close to the wall and his feet as firmly placed on the thin rock ledge as he can, but Sisko still watches him worriedly. The security guards are on high alert, eye and phasers scanning for any threats that could jump out at them.

 

The ensign is running more scans on the lake underneath Chakotay’s feet, scientific curiosity once again ringing out as the first security guard begins to follow Chakotay. 

 

“Very interesting...it’s almost water, but not quite. Some sort of similar chemical compound...”

 

Sisko only pays half his attention to what she’s saying as he watches Chakotay make it across the ledge. The other side is more of an island, large outcroppings of the mineral studding the dirt, surrounded by the shallow moat of the lake. The second security guard begins to cross as Chakotay crouches, scraping off a small amount of the mineral outcroppings, double checking it’s what they need. Sisko leans over the ensign’s shoulder to look at her tricorder screen as she continues to mumble:

 

“It’s quite an alien configuration, I can’t imagine the point of this molecule being here...”

 

Her voice echoes in the cavern, as does the crack of Chakotay’s pick hitting the tough mineral. At first Sisko thinks the low rumble is just another layer of the echo, but then it begins to grow, louder and louder. The dirt under their feet trembles, just barely, but it’s enough to send them all looking wildly for the source. Chakotay straightens up, tucking the tool away and reaching for his phaser, voice tight but calm as he shouts orders:

 

“Ben, Tiller, R’ken, stay back. Can anyone see where that’s coming from?”

 

The security officers spin, searching the room and the ceiling for the cause. Only Ensign Tiller, focused on the lake, finds it. The liquid on the far side of the is beginning to roil, white froth rolling out in a wave and disturbing the formerly peaceful lake. She shout a warning and, as is characteristic of a science officer, points her tricorder at it. Chakotay takes one look at the growing wave and yells for the security guards to get back across the ledge.

 

He crouches again, a tenseness in his graceful movements now, and wrestles a chunk of mineral out of the dirt. Sisko respects his devotion, but he also steps forwards and yells across the gap:

 

“Chakotay, get out of there!”

 

Chakotay turns and lobs the chunk across the gap and it lands safely front of Sisko. He kicks it towards Tiller and she stops scanning the wave to wrestle it into her backpack. Mineral safe, Sisko turns back, hoping to see Chakotay heading across the ledge. He’s still on the island; the security guards aren’t crossing fast enough for him to follow yet. Sisko knows Chakotay, knows he’s too devoted for his own good, knows he won’t cross until the guards have made it across.

 

Chakotay has levelled his gun on the liquid, which is almost reaching the ceiling now. It looks like a tidal wave, if tidal waves had the ability to be pissed off and blink gelatinous eyes that seem to gleam with sentiance. Sisko also aims his phaser, hoping to defend Chakotay, even if he can’t cross the gap to drag him out of there. He’s about to pull the trigger when Tiller swats the muzzle down, yelling:

 

“Sir, don’t! The creature may react with our phasers, you could destroy the whole cavern!”

 

Sisko grits his teeth, dropping the gun down and turning to watch the last security guard reach safety on their side. He runs as close as he can to the edge and yells at Chakotay:

 

“Now!”

 

Chakotay turns and runs, reaching the ledge and inching across as fast as he can. The creature has finished swelling, so large it’s pressing against the ceiling, and begins to fall in a ponderous arch. It’s strangely silent, allowing Sisko to hear his own panicked breathing and Tiller’s frantic shouts of encouragement. Chakotay is inching closer and closer to safety as the creature finishes it’s dive, hitting with a roar like a warp engine pushed too far. The liquid rushes closer to Chakotay, wild waves edged with angry froth, reaching out to tear him from the ledge.

 

Sisko breaks his stillness, leaning out over the emptiness of the trench to grab Chakotay’s hand. Their fingers interlock and palms slam together, Sisko’s sweaty with fear and Chakotay’s damp from the cave walls. But the grip is firm and Sisko pulls, feeling the muscles in his shoulder scream----

 

Chakotay falls into him, knocking him back, further onto solid ground. They tumble, long limbs tangled for a moment, as the liquid slams down on the ledge Chakotay had just occupied. Chakotay grins at Sisko for a moment, out of breath.

 

“Thanks for the assist, Ben. Now, RUN!”

 

The creature is swirling, gathering for a second attack. Tiller and the security guards are already sprinting for the exit tunnel. Chakotay jumps up, separating their tangle of limbs, and joins them in fleeing. Sisko clambers to his feet and runs after them, cursing under his breath.

 

\-----------

 

They tear out of the tunnel and into the painfully bright daylight, desert air burning in their lungs. The away team slumps to the ground, adrenaline beginning to wear off and exhaustion setting in. Ensign Tiller, despite being obviously shaken by the close call, quickly pulls out her tricorder and begins reviewing the scans.

 

“It looks like maybe the creature feeds on the mineral, and objected to our taking some of it’s stash.”

 

Chakotay looks at her for a long minute and then breaks out laughing. It’s on the edge of hysterical, full of relief at their survival. He shakes his head at her, full of affection as he quips:

 

“Ensign, we almost get killed by angry jello and you still have the energy to theorize. You amaze me.”

 

The security guards join him in laughter, R’kek collapsing the ground to lie on the hot sand. Tiller blushes with good natured embarrassment. Sisko smiles at them, letting them laugh themselves out before speaking:

 

“Well, I think we’re all ready to go back aboard. At least, I know I am.”

 

\--------------------

 

That night, Sisko is standing in his quarters, trying not to pace. He’d come close to losing Chakotay today, and that fills him with so many emotions he can’t sit still. He’s terrified and anxious, lovestruck and worried. His quarters feel small and stifling. He gives in to the need to move and slips into the mostly empty halls. A few night shift officers nod at him, but otherwise he’s left alone with his thoughts. He heads towards the mess hall; might as well make himself useful.

 

Neelix is cheerful as ever when Sisko enters, waving a spotted hand at him. Sisko slips behind the counter, taking a peek at the pot he’s stirring with an oversized ladle. Neelix grins up at him, asking:

 

“How’s my favorite cook doing?”

 

Sisko gives him slight smile; he always appreciates the Talaxian’s goodwill.

 

“Well enough, Neelix. Need any help?”

 

Neelix pulls a knife out of his knife rack---the one he knows is Sisko’s favorite---and sets it on the cutting board next to him.

 

“The egr root needs to be chopped for tomorrow's salad, if you don’t mind?”

 

Sisko slips into place in the kitchen easily, tying an apron around his waist.

 

“You’re a lifesaver, Nellix.”

 

The Talaxian grins.

 

“I do my best.”

 

Sisko has just settled into a comforting rhythm of the cool slide of the metal handle in his hand and the light pop of the blade hitting the cutting board when the doors slide open. Sisko looks up from the carefully cut piles of root to see who it is. The last person Sisko wants to see right now steps inside, an empty mug in his hands. Chakotay is obviously on the hunt for coffee, and he nods at Sisko as he fills his mug from the pot on the counter.

 

Neelix greets him as welcomingly as he had Sisko and warns him that the coffee’s extra strong today. Chakotay thanks him, that gentle warmth in his dark eyes, and takes a seat right under one of the viewports. The tangle of emotions in Sisko’s chest remerges as he watches the starlight play across Chakotay and he wonders if this is exactly what he needed to happen tonight.

 

He finishes cutting up the egr root, a pleasant silence filling the mostly empty mess hall as Neelix hums quietly to himself and Chakotay sips his coffee. Sisko washes the knife and his hands of the bitter juice before hanging the apron back up and stepping out of the kitchen.

 

Chakotay is immersed in his padd, but he looks up as Sisko walks closer to his table. They greet each other with smiles and Sisko asks:

 

“May I join you?”

 

Chakotay sets the padd down, giving Sisko his full attention.

 

“Of course.”

 

Sisko takes the seat across from him and they sit in silence for a long moment.

 

Sisko does his best to gather his thoughts, drawing strength from the calm, quiet mess hall around them. He feels like a young man again, blushing as he tries to make a good impression on Jennifer. Or like when he was older, more secure, but still fumbling as he tries to find the right words to speak with Cassidy. But he needs to do this; he knows ignoring his feelings will only make him feel worse.

 

Sisko reaches across the table and Chakotay takes his hand, interlacing their fingers. Sisko looks him in the eyes, and Chakotay seems to sense that he’s serious. He leans closer, eyes intense, and whispers:

 

“What is it, Ben?”

 

Sisko closes his eyes, thinks of all the lazy nights spent reading together, soft blankets and steaming tea spread across their quarters. He wishes he had a cup now, but he's not going to get up to get one. He opens them and Chakotay is waiting patiently, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

 

“Today got me thinking, Chakotay. I almost lost you.”

 

Chakotay smiles a bright smile, always brave.

 

“Almost, but not quite.”

 

But he sobers quickly.

 

“I’m alright, Ben. Not hurt, not dead, just here, sitting with you on a beautiful night.”

 

Ben looks up, smiles at him, at the starlight glinting in his soft eyes and the way his cheeks curve up when he smiles. It draws the truth out of him, and he doesn’t feel afraid as he says it.

 

“Chakotay, I’m in love with you.”

 

There’s a small flicker of surprise in his eyes, but Chakotay doesn’t pull away. Sisko wonders if he can feel his racing pulse in their joined hands. In the quiet, there’s only the slight hum of Voyager’s engines and a soft sigh rushing out of Chakotay’s lungs. He leans closer, filling space between them, and reaches a hand out to cup Sisko’s face. His fingers settle into place against Sisko’s cheek, like they were always meant to be there. It’s a small motion, but deeply intimate for a man as reserved as Chakotay. Chakotay prefers actions to words, so when he presses their foreheads together Sisko knows he feels the same.

 

They sit in the starlit silence, still holding hands. A new contentedness has settled over them, like the last piece had clicked into place. Nothing much had changed, but at the same time, everything had.

 

\----------

 

Sisko rolls out of bed, carefully slipping out from under Chakotay’s arm and walking out into the living room of the small quarters. He digs his toes into the soft carpet lying on the floor and closes his eyes, basking in the starlight pouring over the dark room. They’d come to Chakotay’s quarters straight from the mess hall, still coming down from the high of their confessions. They’d settled into bed, just enjoying falling asleep in each other’s arms. Sisko had forgotten how nice it was to not sleep alone.

 

Cassidy flashes behind his eyelids and he sighs. He needs to talk to Chakotay, again. It seems like so much talk to start a relationship, but he knows it’s important.

 

Behind him, Chakotay stirs and rolls over. A moment later he jerks awake; the lack of Ben’s weight next to him drawing him out of sleep. He rubs his hands over his eyes and props himself up on an elbow.

 

“Ben, what’s wrong?”

 

Sisko turns from the viewport and returns to the bed, taking a seat on the edge.

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

Chakotay smiles slightly.

 

“Again?” 

 

“Again.”

 

Chakotay shrugs.

 

“Okay, although I doubt you can top earlier.”

 

Sisko only pauses for moment to gather his thoughts; better to get this over with as quick as possible.

 

“I have a girlfriend, back home.”

 

Chakotay’s face closes off, emotions wiped away. It’s the same look he gets when he’s trying to figure out a tactical situation but doesn’t want to give anything away.

 

“Okay, and?”

 

“Her name is Cassidy. I love her with my whole heart, the way I love you. We had talked about being open, a little while before I disappeared. She’ll love you, I know it. But if you aren’t comfortable with that, I understand. But I wanted you to know, and have time to decide, before this developed any further.”

 

Chakotay relaxes, his face becoming soft and sweet again. His relief is obvious.

 

“Oh, I’m glad. I was worried you wanted to cheat or something. That doesn’t seem like you, anyways, but I had to make sure.”

 

Sisko smiles; Chakotay is a moral man, and would never participate in something like that. Fortunately neither would Sisko. 

 

Chakotay lies back, hands behind his head on the pillow, obviously considering. Sisko lets him think, wondering how much it will hurt if he says no. Sisko would respect his wishes, of course, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. Chakotay speaks and Sisko listens intently:

 

“I’d be fine with sharing, Ben. I’m sure this Cassidy is a lovely person as well, I look forwards to meeting her.”

 

Ben lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and the knot in his chest loosens. He lies down next to Chakotay, angling his head to fit into the crook of his neck. Chakotay wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls the blanket back over them. Sisko soaks in the affection for a moment before speaking:

 

“Would you like to hear about her?”

 

His heart aches to talk about her; he misses her, in an agonizing way he hasn’t been able to ease. Maybe talking about her will help. Chakotay hums, obviously understanding how much Sisko is struggling with being separated from her.

 

“Yes, and tell me about Jake too?”

 

Sisko grins, almost overwhelmed with how much he loves this man, how much he loves the rest of his family waiting for him back home. He shifts position slightly, settling in to talk for a good long while.

 

“Cassidy, she’s fiery. She never lets me get away with any bullshit. She’s always there when you need her, but she also won’t put you ahead of her. She’s independent, a captain herself...”

 

\--------

 

Sisko sits in the mess hall, a cooling cup of tea and a padd in front of him. He rubs at his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. He doesn’t have time to go to sickbay and get a suppressant; he needs to finish this report tonight. He continues tapping away at the padd, trying to ignore the pain gathering in his temples.

 

He’s so focused on his work that he doesn’t notice when Chakotay enters the room and walks to his table, leaning over Sisko’s shoulder to take a look at the padd. Then he speaks quietly, trying not to disturb him:

 

“Ben.”

 

Sisko hums, acknowledging his presence, but doesn’t look up or reply. Chakotay laughs and presses a kiss to his cheek before sitting down across from him. He sets down his cup of coffee and cracks open his book, returning to his reading. They sit in a comfortable silence for a long time, happy to work in the same space without interacting. Just being around each other is lovely; there’s no need to talk.

 

Sisko’s tapping rises to a crescendo and then he stops working, pushing the padd away from him with a tired sigh. 

 

“Finally. If I didn’t get that report sent in, Kathyrn was going to hunt me down with her phaser rifle.”

 

Chakotay reads a couple more sentences before closing the book around his bookmark. He sets it down and smiles wryly at Sisko.

 

“That would be a sight to see. She looks more at home with that thing in her arms than she does in her captain’s chair.”

 

Sisko laughs and they smile at each other for a moment. Then Sisko stands, stretching out his long legs.

 

“I could do with another cup of tea. You want more coffee?”

 

Chakotay hands his mug over gratefully, and puts his book aside as he waits for him to return.

 

When he does he sets a plate full of small cookies down, nudging them towards Chakotay.

 

“Neelix insisted I take some. They’re good, but I’m not a big fan of almond.”

 

Chakotay takes a cookie in one hand and reaches for Ben’s hand with his other. Ben interlaces their fingers and takes a sip of his tea. Chakotay watches the steam rise from their drinks, basking in the peace of mostly empty mess hall. The sweetness of the cookies lingers on his tongue, his hand is warm in Ben’s, and he’s completely content. He sighs and lets his eyes slip closed for a moment, resting after a long day.

 

When he opens them again, Ben is looking at him, eyes intensely loving. He looks at Chakotay the way he looks at nebulas on the viewscreen, or the small bajoran temple he visits abroad. Like Chakotay is something to be appreciated, something otherworldly beautiful. Chakotay isn’t used to it yet, but he tries not to let his embarrassment show. He just looks back, trying to let himself show as much love as Ben does.

 

Ben begins to speak, stutters, looks down. His voice is full of love when he tries again:

 

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re the reason the prophets sent me here.”

 

Chakotay gasps slightly; they’d talked about Sisko’s beliefs and how his gods had brought him here, but Chakotay never expected his importance to be anywhere close to the prophets. But he stays quiet; Ben is hesitating, as if he’s considering something.

 

“I guess that’s not quite what I meant. I know why I was sent here. Because Voyager is lost, far from home, far from the prophets, and because they would not abandon anyone, even on the far side of the galaxy. I think Voyager needed to be reassured that the prophets are still listening. Who better than the emissary?”

 

Chakotay nods; he doesn’t fully understand the intricacies of the Bajoran faith, but he’s been around it enough to follow parts of it. Sisko frowns slightly, his forehead wrinkling as he continues:

 

“But the relationship with the prophets isn’t a one way street, I’m not just their errand boy. If they want me to do something, it will benefit me as well as them.”

 

The frown disappears and he grins his happy, toothy grin up at Chakotay:

 

“And I think that’s where you come in! I may have left a family behind, but I found a new one on Voyager. And I think that makes it worth it.”

 

Chakotay laughs; he can’t say he was glad to get trapped in the delta quadrant, but he can say he’d made a home on Voyager. And he’d found a group of people who he loved with all the loyalty and fierceness he’d loved his maquis crew. For a better or worse, he’s a very different man than he was before this journey. But no matter what, he’s happy here, and that’s what is important right now.

 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Ben, and I feel the same way.”

 

Chakotay reaches out to take his hand and Sisko accepts the touch gratefully, thumb tracing patterns on the back of Chakotay’s hand. He looks out at the mess hall around them: the starfield streaming past the the viewports, the spartan grey of starfleet issue furniture, the flowers and knicknacks Neelix had put on the tables to make it feel more homey. Given the chance, he wouldn’t change any of this.

 

There are many regrets in his past, as well as many things to mourn. But for the moment he’s got a good book, a warm cup of coffee, and Ben at his side. That’s all he needs to make it worth it.

 

\------

  
  


Sisko is walking the familiar corridors of Ds9 again, but this time it isn’t a dream. Despite being so much the same, they feel strange; he’d adjusted to being on Voyager, even if ds9 was always where he wanted to be. Some small things have changed as well: added light fixtures, sections of wall that have been turned into storage closets, unfamiliar species walking the halls. But still, this is his station. He’s finally home.

 

Chakotay takes his hand and squeezes, helping to ground him. They’re walking together to the quarters where his family waits. Not the same ones he remembers; they had moved at some point, but only to the other side of the station. Cassidy and Jake hadn’t left, though some of his crew had---Kira says none of them had in spirit, all of them just waiting for the day he returned. He can’t tell how much of that was her faith in him and how much was her faith in the prophets, or if it really matters.

 

She had been the first to greet him when they finally reached the station, her uniform heavy with medals and rank she had gained while he was gone. Julian and Miles had stumbled out of the turbolift as he was hugging her, both having rushed off their transports as soon as they had docked to meet him. Worf and Ezri appear a few minutes later, the latter flustered by her unavoidable lateness; a difficult patient, apparently.

 

Sisko isn’t ashamed to say he had cried when he saw them, and again as they brought him down to the promenade. The entire station was celebrating, crowds cheering as he walks through them, some welcoming a heroic starfleet captain and others the emissary. But he’s not really looking at them. Instead he’s picking certain people out of the crowd: Quark, much better dressed and apparently more profitable than the last time Ben saw him, Odo, still in the same old office and uniform but looking happy, Garak and Ziyal grinning from the entrance of the tailor’s shop, Keiko and two smiling adults who must be Kirayoshi and Molly.

 

Cassidy and Jake weren’t there: after such a long time he wanted to see them away from the crowd. So as soon as he could, he’d grabbed ahold of Chakotay and fled the celebration, heading for the quarters where Kira said they were waiting.

 

Now, he stops in front of their door and freezes. He misses them so much, but suddenly he can’t move, the weight of how long he had been gone weighing him down. He’d been so focused on getting back to to them that he hadn’t considered how much of their life he really had missed. He tries to breathe deep, tries to calm down, but it still feels crushing.

 

Then there’s Chakotay, all softness with underlying steel, concern on his face as he presses a hand to Sisko’s cheek.

 

“You okay, Ben?”

 

Sisko laughs, the noise a cross between desperate and hysterical; he doesn’t really know the answer to that. He shakes his head, trying not to look into Chakotay’s calm, forgiving eyes.

 

“It’s just so much. I don’t know how I can face them after all of this.”

 

Chakotay sighs, waiting until Ben finally meets his eyes to speak:

 

“Ben, it’s completely reasonable for you to be afraid of this. But that’s no excuse to not do it.”

 

Sisko feels the truth of that statement sink in, and lets himself fall forward into embracing Chakotay. He holds on tight, trying to gather strength from the familiar feeling of holding him. They spend a long moment wrapped up in each other’s arms and then Chakotay pulls away reluctantly.

 

“Ready?”

 

Sisko takes his hand again and stands up straight, bracing himself to open the door.

 

“Not really, but let’s do it anyways.”

 

He keys the door open and there’s a moment of looking around the comfortably furnished room before his vision tunnels down to just Cassidy’s beautiful face. She’s rising from the couch where’s obviously been waiting for them, tears brimming in her eyes. She hesitates a moment, as if she’s just as unsure what to do, and then she’s rushing forwards and pulling him into a hug. He clings to her as much as she clings to him; even after years of imagining how this moment would feel it’s still nothing like he expected.

 

It’s a thousand times better and he never wants to let go. But then Jake appears, loping towards them on those long legs of his,  looking so much more adult than Sisko remembers him. Ben breaks off from Cassidy, one hand staying tangled in her shirt, to pull his son into an embrace. Jake laughs, that sweet little chuckle of his the same as always, and speaks softly:

 

“Hey dad.”

Sisko’s throat is tight with grief for all the years with his son that he’d missed, and he tries to apologize:

 

“Jake-o, I’m so sorry for not being there...”

 

Jake’s voice cracks as he speaks, forgiveness overpowering the sadness in  his voice:

 

“Dad, it’s okay, really. You’re here now.”

 

Sisko grins, the joy beginning to break through the guilt he’s felt for so long.

 

“Yes, I am. And I want to know everything you two have been up to. But first--”

 

Ben turns to Chakotay, who has been watching them reunite with proud, loving eyes.

 

“I’ve got someone to introduce to you.”

 

Sisko tangles his and Chakotay’s fingers, using the handhold to pull him into view of Jake and Cassidy. Chakotay looks nervous for a second before smiling kindly.

 

“This is Chakotay. He helped me through all the years in the alpha quadrant. I wanted for you to get to know each other.”

 

Cassidy is smiling brightly at Chakotay, already having completed her first judgment of chakotay and apparently finding it favorable. Sisko had a feeling they’d like each other, and Chakotay’s quiet, calm personality does make good first impressions. 

 

“You’re welcome in our home, Chakotay. Would you like some dinner?”

 

She begins to lead the way into the sitting room where, as Ben expected, a sweetly scented candle is burning. Sisko breathes it in deep, letting the brightness of his family around him finally sink into his skin. So many years, and he’s finally home. Finally home, and he never intends to leave them ever again.

\-------


End file.
